Lately, I’ve had some definite mixed feelings about all this introspection and identity restoration I’ve been doing in CGA.

Between track, courses, guest speakers, apprenticeship, community, personal time with Jesus, and everything else in between, the Lord has been doing some serious work in my heart.

confronting shame head-on,

bringing the darker parts of my heart into the light,

walking through some difficult memories and allowing Jesus to redeem them,

identifying the things in my life that are holding me back from deeper intimacy with the Lord, and going through the painful process of cutting off those areas with the help of Jesus...

It’s all pretty tough, but I’m certainly seeing the power of all this introspection. Just in the past month, I’ve experienced so much growth, freedom, redemption, and empowerment thanks to this ongoing process of looking deep within myself through the lens of the Lord. And I truly do believe that this is a season of being poured into, receiving wisdom and encouragement, and being prepared for mynext season of pouring into others. It’s all very good and important stuff!

But I have to ask myself...is this - this constant introspection, identity restoration, and spiritual formation - what I’m living for? ...or am I living for Jesus? ...am I living to share Him with the world around me?

It’s so easy to get so caught up in the importance of knowing myself and growing myself and allowing the Father to make His home in my heart that I almost let this identity journey become an idol or an excuse to avoid what God is asking me to do in the present moment.

Let me be clear: I do believe that identity in Christ is incredibly important. I absolutely believe that! And the more we become rooted in Jesus as our identity, the more effectively we can share the Gospel. But restoring your identity is a journey, and if you’re waiting to be perfectly rooted and secure in your identity as a son of God before pursuing the Great Commission...you’re never going to actually get out and share the Gospel, and you’re going to miss out on what God wants to do in and through you TODAY.

I think sometimes we just get way too focused on “preparing ourselves” for the next season or making ourselves “just a little more qualified” before going out and making disciples, that we make the internal, personal journey the end instead of the means to the end, which is the Great Commission.

Identity in Christ is essential,

but it is not the end goal.

Making disciples is the end goal.

Bringing glory to God is the end goal.

And it’s all part of a greater journey with our Creator.

So, yes, pursue the heart of the Father with all you’ve got. Bring Him into those painful parts of your life and walk in the light. Allow Him to transform you from the inside out. But make sure that your identity in Christ remains your means for sharing this loving, powerful, transformational Jesus you know, whose glory is the end goal.

And while you’re at it, don’t forget to ask God,

“What do you want to do today?”