The other morning I was casually reading through my lil’ bible, when God revealed something to me at the most unexpected moment. Has He ever done that to you??? Cause every time that happens to me, it always seems to cut straight to my soul. It’s goooooood stuff. Anyways, this is what stuck out to me:
“So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” (Matthew 6:31-33)
Wow. I’ve read that dozens of times before, but God revealed something new to me this time. I’ve always looked at this verse in terms of provision of material things that we need, but now I’m seeing it totally relates to our spiritual needs as well. I shouldn’t be worrying about how to reach a certain level of boldness or intimacy or anything else like that… because I need only seek His face and seek His Kingdom! And the doors will be opened!
Just as I was processing all of this, there was a man sitting on the couch behind my roommate facing me, just sitting there with his coffee. As soon as he sat down, I felt a sort of urgency. We had seen him in the square on our way in, and I kinda felt like I should go talk to him. But, naturally, my awkward human self went through the thoughts of…
Well, what if he doesn’t want to be bothered?
What if he gets annoyed by my interruption of his thoughts?
What if he’s waiting for someone else and they get here as I walk over and it’s super awkward???
What if he’s open to having a conversation and I don’t know what to say?
What if he starts talking about deeper issues than I know how to handle?
I listened to all these lies floating through my head, but you know what thought I kept putting aside?
What if the Lord put this man in front of me for a reason? What if He can experience the Father’s love through me this morning?
I let my selfish anxieties prevent me from ever finding out. As soon as this man left the coffee shop, my whole heart sank. I was totally supposed to talk to him, and God was all but screaming at me to do it. So why didn’t I? Here’s what God dropped on me:
I need to stop letting my fear of rejection hinder the advancement of the Kingdom of God that He wants to accomplish through me.
AH! That’s a tough truth, but it’s seriously so good. It totally relates to what I was meditating on when I first got to the coffee shop. God was remindng me how I am created for a specific purpose. I can either sit back, let my fear of rejection hold me back, and not use my gifts for the Kingdom, OR I can acknowledge that God has created me uniquely for a purpose, chase after my anointing, and walk in confidence of a God who moves.
So Saturday, when I didn’t talk to that guy…that was me giving into fear. Fear of rejection, fear of embarrassment…maybe even fear of realizing all that God can really do through me when I seek Him and His Kingdom first. Well, it’s time to stop giving into fear and self-focus and start living out of gratitude for what God has already given me. Because who knows how much that guy needed a kind word or prayer of encouragement? Who knows what Kingdom didn’t come because I didn’t bring it?
It’s time to stop being responsible for hindering the advancement of the Kingdom and start taking responsibility for the advancement of the Kingdom as a personal calling. Let’s do this thing!
